I’ve decided to focus each week of 2016 on a different topic/feeling/concept. This week is stillness. As an ESFJ, I am someone who is constantly flowing with passion, concerned with the wellbeing of others, and always trying to do things. Sitting idly with nothing to occupy my time terrifies me. I feel the need to text someone to see how they are doing, clean something, change the font and format of an essay I’m writing – anything to keep me busy. But a lot of these things I do are totally useless.
This week I am trying to embrace the feeling of simply existing and not pressuring myself to be busy.
It has been really hard for me because I feel lost when I don’t have structure to my day. If you know me, you know I like to schedule something for every hour of my day. But then I complain about it. Why? Why do I book myself up and then speak about it as if I wish I hadn’t? It isn’t just an annoying habit to me, it’s annoying for everyone around me.
Then I realized: being busy is my comfort zone. I am a worrier, and if I am constantly occupied, I don’t have time to worry. But the real issue here is learning to control my busy mind, my worries, so that stillness can be enjoyable and not stressful.
When I think back to one time in my life that I really had a good grip on being still, I think of when I was regularly attending yoga classes. Yoga teaches you the power of listening to your breath and quieting your mind. It teaches you that it is okay to be in tune with your body and not think about anything other than the movements you are making. While I didn’t get a yoga membership this semester to save money, I’ve found a similar outlet in dance class. Doing something physical allows you to put energy into something real and tangible, rather than into the busy thoughts in your mind.
What helps you to be still?